Tuesday, 8 January 2019

Brexit Britain, 2029 (A Message from the Future) *Courtesy of Mavis who did not wish to reveal her full identity.

Mavis:

"Stop mumbling... What!? I’m deaf you know!? Britain was better in the old days? Pah, no it wasn't! You see that over there? That's raw sewage that stretches for miles around the coast. It didn't used to be like this, there were foreigners with money and things. We didn't approve of that. We've always just prefered swimming about in shit. Pardon!? Of course, the fields used to produce vegetables but they ended up rotting because none of the locals would demean themselves with that type of slog for tuppence so now we just eat Frey Bentos pies and Micro-Chips. I think it's better that way. Hello!? What!? It’s my hearing, it’s not what it was! Yes, there was a time when young people would inexplicably want to broaden their horizons and had ambitions to live and work in the vibrant continent on our doorstep but we didn't think they needed that type of thing. The type of privilege we enjoyed. No, it's better they stay here. That foreign food can give you a dicky tummy and we don't like that. I can't hear you!? And since we forced all Muslims to shave off their beards in case they're concealing a bomb underneath, we've literally had no beard-bomb attacks whatsoever. 'scuse me!? No, there never has been a beard-bomb attack before. I can't hear a thing these days, you’ll have to speak up!? Oh, how's Meryl? Sadly she passed away on a trolley in the street outside the hospital, what with the social care issues following Brexit. It's what she would have wanted. You really will have to speak up!? Times are tough but at least there are no foreigners around to help out. Whaaat!? God Save the King."


#80DaysToBrexit

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